And one more thing...

I read the obituaries in our local paper religiously. I am at that time in my life, when friends of mine lose parents, siblings and the like. Today, I read an obituary for my 5th grade teacher whom I adored. He called everyone by their last name-boys and girls alike. He was in the army, so it worked for him. He was gruff, firm but loving and caring. One day, he took me aside (while my best friend waited in the hall) and told me, "if you would just pay less attention to the boys you would do a whole lot better in school." I tried to listen--but I am not sure I was successful. Just a few weeks ago, my youngest daughter entering 4th grade found out she had a male teacher. I of course, was ecstatic, as my experience was so wonderful. Male teachers are certainly at a premium but they bring something to the table that female teachers cannot. What that is, I am not sure. But I sure adored Mr. Gaughan. His disciplinary techinque was interesting. If you acted up--and I did--you were assigned an "encyclopedia page." This meant you were to write on a loose-leaf paper, from an encyclopedia until your page was filled. There were no mindless tasks with him. You were always meant to learn something, even if it was a punishment! When he yelled--it was awful, but we listened. We respected him and he respected us. I have often wondered what happened to him and where he landed on this earth. Now I know that he is in heaven--shaping up everyone who is not "in line." Mr. Gaughan, rest in peace.

I saw this quote on the "Make a Wish" foundation website:

"Very few things in life can give you more satisfaction than knowing you made a difference in the life of a child." I have always loved working with children. I always wanted to be a teacher. Why I didn't pursue that, I will never know. Stupidity comes to mind. Anyway, college got in the way, I just wasn't thinking. A B.A. in Spanish--THAT'S it. Good for nuttin'. Ended up teaching pre school which I loved. No money. Ended up at MCI (then WorldCom) and got caught up in the corporate whirlwind they call a career, and (18)years later with my 401K flushed down the crapper after the WorldCom fiasco, I was laid off. After I got laid off from WorldCom, I was forced to make some choices. I didn't want to re-enter that corporate world, never. With my oldest daughter hitting the teen years, I really wanted to be home in the afternoons with her. (Those were MY trouble times as a teen!) Hence, my next "career" move!

For the last three years, I have been a one on one aide for a 13 year old boy with Down Syndrome. I am honest when I tell you I love him like he is one of my own. Suddenly, it clicked for me. I WAS making the difference in the life of him, and even his friends and the other 6th graders I adore. Not to mention, I am now at home with my kids in the afternoons, a double edge sword--but one I wouldn't trade in. I sure hope I make a difference in their lives!

My summer gig is as a head counselor for a well known, much loved day camp in our area. It is a magical place--a place that if you're not a part of it, it's hard to understand why it is so special. Next to Disney, it truly is the happiest place on earth. We just finished our six week stint, and I have never been more fulfilled, more exhausted, more tired of the heat, more happy than I am now. I had a camper tell me that I was the best counselor she ever had. Forget the paycheck, I'll take that to the bank. My campers were always smiling and laughing (when they weren't complaining about the heat--which was rare, the complaining that is, not the heat!)

I am always quick to beat myself up about the things I don't do well. I am very critical of myself overall. I (and I think we all) take for granted the things we do well. After this camp season, I felt better about myself than I have for a long time. It is those things that we do well, (that we take for granted) that bring us, and those around us the most joy. That sounds like a simple pleasure and it is. It is one that I will rejoice about and for which I will give thanks.

Children amaze me. You raise them as best that you can, and hope that they learn
and treat others with kindness and respect. It is those "yea!!" moments that help affirm the
fact that you're doing a good job. I'm always hopeful (and thankful) for those moments.

In church today, our rector talked about ministries. Christ told his disciples to go
two by two, leave their baggage, take one pair of sandals and preach the word, heal the sick and cast out demons. Ministries happen within the framework of relationships, our rector said.

This sermon came on the heels of what follows next. This happened last night, as our parish hosted the homeless in our sheltering program. These folks spend the day, down at 63rd and Market St. in Philadelphia by day. By night, they are transported to our parish hall where they stay the night. We provide A/C, bathrooms, and a roof over their heads. Each evening, one (or a few) parishoners sign up to make lunches for our guests who will leave the next morning. Many times, they are families who sign up to "shelter" Last night was our night. I had taken my oldest (13) before, and at the first--she was a bit hesitant. My youngest, (9) followed with that same emotion last night, as this was her first time. What follows is the evening in the life of a nine year old sheltering the homeless.

Jennifer had quite an experience at the shelter tonight. She made friends with a woman named
Nancy. (Jen's so shy, you know.) Jen chatted with her for a bit. Nancy told her she had a job
interview on Monday. Jen told her she would say a prayer for her. Nancy asked her for a hug, and Jen of course, agreed. Unbeknownst to me, Nancy gave Jen her radio and earphones. Jennifer was so pleased with the gesture, until she realized that those items might be all that she had. Jennifer asked if she could give them back to Nancy.

She scooted into the parish hall, and crouched down next to Nancy, told her she had already had a radio and that while she appreciated the thought, she wanted Nancy to have it back. Nancy turned to me and said, "I wanted to give her something, and that was all that I had." I assured her that the hug that she gave Jen was all she needed. Jen wished her well on her interview Monday. Nancy said that she wanted to come to Holy Apostles for church. Jennifer assured her that there were many opportunities for her to help out, and that she would look forward to having her there. Nancy said she would take her to McDonalds.

Ministry--it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Now, I know nothing about Nancy, her background, her issues, her history. What I DO know is that my daughter was forever changed tonight. As I tucked her into bed tonight, her prayers went on a little longer than normal. Nancy told her earlier in the evening, "many people talk the talk...but we were walking the walk." Jennifer now gets it.

As for sheltering, Jen's a "lifer."

Jen told me she prayed for Nancy three times during church today. That's major prayer for a nine year old, and probably just the prayer that Nancy needed.

7th grade comes to a grinding halt on Friday...Thanks be to God. Go in peace.

I hated 7th grade the first time I went through it. I hate it even more as my 13 year old daughter went through it. Forget the social issues that go along with this age (I wish I could...trust me) the academics are so radically different from 6th grade. I truly had no idea. She ended up on a team with two teachers who obviously misread the name of the school, thinking it was a university and taught as such. She did however learn life's lessons. Frankly, that to me is more important than the Middle Ages, what she was supposed to be learning a bout. She learned that she has to work harder than she ever thought she would. She learned that you can't always rely on mom and dad to write a note. Consequences for your actions are a fact of life.

I marvel at how she has risen above (in most cases) and stayed the course. By mid year, a teacher gave her such a hard time, we considered allowing her to switch classes. She came home one day, announced that she had confronted the teacher about how she was being treated and told him she was staying--end of discussion. She is now looking at that situation in the rear view
mirror and has every reason to be extraordinarily proud of herself. I sure am.

And so summer begins. While I am excited for the change of pace, and the excitment of a new summer day camp season, I look back, somewhat nostalgically, for the school year that has just past. How can I be both nostalgic and relieved?

To everything......turn....turn turn...there is a season...

The Tuesday Ten...things I did today.

1. Cleaned out the "mountain of mail" basket.
2. Made a "to do" list for my mother in law's 70th party at our house this weekend.
3. Finished the planting out back.
4. Weeded the front garden.
5. Watched an amazing video on racism at the middle school where I work.
6. Sweated like I delivered quadruplets. (see previous post on the weather)
7. Finished paperwork on my youngest cherub's latest endeavor, the viola.
8. Grilled asparagus--that was actually good!
9. Took daughter #1 to a therapy appointment.
10. Gave thanks for the day, in spite of the heat and chaos.

I live in the northeast section of the US. It is May 30th and the temperature today, was 93 degrees, with 60 % humidity. That annoys me. If I WANTED to live in South Florida, I would have moved there. What happened to a ramp up period? What happened to upper 70s, mid 80's, then the July jump to the nasty 90s?? I work in a school, that heats up like a brick pizza oven with one notable exception. The brick pizza oven at the local pizza place, is not crammed with middle school boys and girls, who may or may not have discovered deodorant.

Our administration is moving into a local school building, and the kids in that school, will be farmed out to a brand spanking new building (which teachers are already complaining about for various and sundry reasons). You can be damn sure, that they will have air conditioning slapped into that old school building faster than poop through a goose. That also annoys me.

I work in a classroom where there are students with special needs: ADD, PDD, Down Syndrome to name a few. Focusing is an issue for these students. You'd think they could put one stinkin' AC unit in the window to improve the environment in which these children are learning every day. Instead, it is, "I'll have mine half mushroom, half pepperoni." It is easy for me to bitch now. I sit in my relatively new (to us) house, with, for the first time, central air. I will never, ever, ever take it for granted. Yahoooo!!

The five movies I would choose, if they were the only ones I could see for the rest of my life--in order of preference:

1. The Wizard of Oz
2. Animal House
3. The Sound of Music
4. Rocky
5. On the Waterfront

Appetizer
What's your favorite flavor of ice cream? Penn State Creamery's Coconut Chip

Soup
What are 3 things you would like to put in a time capsule? A picture of my family, Bruce Springsteen's Born to Run CD, copies of my favorite recipes.

Salad
Name something you are 100% sure of. That in my life, I have made a difference in the life of a child.

Main Course
What is something you do to calm yourself when you're stressed or upset? Call my sister, have a glass of wine, or both.

Dessert
If you could receive an invitation to any important event, what would you like it to be? The Last Supper

Want to join Friday's Feast? If so, click HERE. If you already participate, please leave me a comment with a link to your Feast.

There should be brochures on parenting in the labor and delivery wing of every hospital. Because if there were, I would have picked them up. Sadly, there were none. Something should prepare you for the wrath of a 13 year old daughter scorned. My once honest, and forthright littld girl is now 13, and has morphed into a young lady who delights in testing the limits. I know, it's her job. However, it is our job as parents to set those limits. Last week it was sneaking "on line" when she was not permitted to, thinking she wouldn't get caught. A little "smoke and mirrors" ( so as not to arouse suspicion of computer parental controls)...and we got her to 'fess up. This past week, it was the dawning of the thong that got our undies in a bunch. Call it mother's intuition, but I knew the minute I saw her face on that early school morning, she was thonging. How did she expect to get those through the laundry without us noticing? She said she has been "thinking in the moment" lately, and not thinking of the consequences of her actions. At 13, she should at the very least have some forward thinking capabilities. Suffice it to say, her lack of forward thinking landed her in our laps for the forseeable future as trust has now become an issue. Looking at the bright side, we don't have to worry about where she is all the time when she's grounded. As for the thongs, they met their demise at the hands of my husband who took pair of pinking shears to them. I suggested hanging them on the Christmas tree come December. The pinking shears won out. I shared this story with a friend who is the mother of nine children, six of whom are daughters. While they are older, she too, remembered the time she came across thongs in the laundry. Her response? "It's about time. You've been up my butt for the last 17 years, it's time something was up your butt." Touche.

Thirteen Things I Did Today...

1. Blew a fuse blow drying my hair this morning, and drove around the neighborhood at 7AM looking for my husband who was walking the dog, so he could fix it, as I am clueless.

2. Sat in the sun on the bleachers at school, playing Uno with my 12 year old school day companion, Danny.

3. Ordered Jennifer's cake for her cheerleading birthday party tomorrow.

4. Went to the liquor store to stock up for the family party to follow the cheerleading party tomorrow.

5. Made baked beans.

6. Cleaned out the garden in front of our house.

7. Bought (3) perennials to put in the front garden tomorrow.

8. Cleaned out the cat box. Yuck.

9. Watched Jen's softball game on a sultry, spring evening.

10. Had anxiety for the better part of the early afternoon...annoying.

11. Made a list of last minute things to do tomorrow.

12. Cleaned out the garage gutter.

13. Decided I need to make this list every day, so that when I ask myself at the end of the day, "Where the hell did this day go?" I'll know.

While I originally thought we had lost our minds in our weekend quest for a waterpark getaway, I was pleasantly surprised! We laughed and laughed as we rode the water roller coasters and slides. We relaxed as we lazed our way down the "lazy river," (the old man and myself, n'atch) and had some wonderful meals out. (We bypassed the million dollar snack bar in favor of a more reasonable--and better tasting meal!) To be just over an hour away from home, yet feel as if we were quite a ways away, was wonderful. We all vowed to save our pennies and return again. Even the 13 year old had fun. Success? Yes, I think so.

Someday, I'll get creative and put up some cool links like my friend, Kate. I'm a total Kate-wanna-be. For now, the ramblin's will have to do.

I truly think we have lost our minds. After aborting an overnight to Washington D.C. last month, (my anxiety went carreening out of control two days prior..nice), we are headed to a brand new resort in the Poconos called Great Wolf Lodge. http://www.greatwolflodge.com. It is a 91,000 sq. ft. resort, with a HUGE indoor waterpark. We have been warned that it is Disney-esqe in terms of the cost of things. We are picking the girls up from school, (they are in the dark about the trip)and headed north. Nothing like putting your pasty-white, ample self in a bathing suit on April 28th. Just the thought of it frightens me. We have packed the appropriate snacks, juice boxes and the obligatory adult beverages. My sister and her family will be joining us, bringing the total kid number to five. Add in 30,000 other little cherubs and you've got yourself a weekend. Up, up and away...

Trying to raise a teenager is like trying to nail Jello to a tree. It just seems to slip through your fingers every stinkin' time you try to drive in the hammer. I found out today, that maybe driving the hammer is not the best way to get the job done. At this writing, my 13 year old is still holed up at a friend's house--not wanting to face the conflict, and I let her go. I spend my whole life trying to not let her out of my sight, keep her safe and raise her well. I sent her out the door with a "see ya." Unheard of for me. "I love you" has always been the final word. I struggled with that. She arrived home, contrite and calm. I was the same. Turns out she was right--leaving was the right choice, even for a brief period of time. A time to sort it all out. Now we are headed to the family room to watch the results of American Idol. Did something just happen here or was it all just dream?

There was a time when I would anticipate Friday, with the excitment of a little kid at Christmas. This, until I had a teenage daughter. Gone are the days of throwing on sweats, climbing into an evening beverage, gobbling up a pizza and cozying in with a movie. My "happy hour" now consists of answering more phone calls than the White House, and asking "Who, what, when and where." When what I really want to ask is "why?" Why don't you want to stay home with us anymore? Why do you need to go out? Why can't you be entertained here with us? I know we're giving her wings, (and they've even been clipped from time time time.) Who is this child and what did you do with the 6th grade honor roll student of last year? In some ways I can answer that question. She has become a 7th grader who is now old enough to watch her sister on a Friday night, so that my husband and I can go OUT for a beer and a burger. And that folks, is what we call a tradeoff.

My first post on my first blog. I'll steal an idea from my best friend, and go with 100 things to post about myself. Rumblings, ramblin's and my thoughts to come.

1. I am a wife and mother, it is a role that I love.
2. I have two daughters, age 8 and 13.
3. I might survive the teenage years.
4. My parents did, so my chances are good.
5. Why are 13 year olds so annoyingbut yet can be so delightful all in the same breath?
6. Cooking a meal for people I care about is an absolute joy.
7. My husband is the kindest person I know.
8. I wish I could be more like him.
9. My 6th grade teacher was one of the defining people in my life.
10. Sadly, it was for all of the wrong reasons.
11. You cannot believe everything a teacher says about you.
12. Fortunately, neither did my parents.
13. Church is an integral part of my life.
14. I am a Sunday school teacher
15. I smoked pot on a church camping trip.
16. I thought the girls on that camping trip would accept me, but they had their own issues.
17. My parents were more clued in than most during that time.
18. I give thanks for that.
19. Mothers truly do have eyes in the back of their heads.
20. I love to write.
21. I wish I kept a journal.
22. Where is the manual on parenting and how did I get left off of the subscriber list?
23. I live in the glorious suburbs.
24. I wish I had a king size bed.
25. My husband does not.
26. I love reruns of I Love Lucy.
27. I have a weight problem.
28. I have joined a gym and love every hateful minute of my time there.
29. I work as an instructional aide for a 6th grader with Down Syndrome.
30. My work leaves me totally fulfilled.
31. I love working with middle school aged children, better than raising them.
32. I love to entertain and have parties.
33. I suffer with panic/anxiety disorder.
34. I finally broke down and started taking medication. My sister made me.
35. Face your fear and do it anyway.
36. Spring is my favorite season.
37. I am an Episcopalian.
38. I love teaching Sunday school.
39. My husband and I met at church, 40 years ago.
40. I like poking around at garage sales.
42. I have one dog, German Shorthaired Pointer, Jake.
43. I have two cats who are annoying.
45. I love to cook on the grill.
46. I love to sing.
47. My very best friend I have had since 5th grade.
48. She is like a sister to me.
49. I have one sister and one brother.
50. I am the oldest.
51. I am the consumate worrier.
52. I wish I had become a teacher.
53. I got suspended for smoking in the 9th grade.
54. Sadly, I was the one caught with the cigarette-and had never taken a puff.
55. No better place to be, than at a Springsteen concert.
56. I do my best reflective thinking on the beach.
57. I have four nieces and one nephew
58. My nieces, 4 are all from China!
59. My sister and I went to London a few years back, loved it.
60. My nephew has Down Syndrome.
61. My nephew has taught me patience in many ways.
62. Like my dad, I love a martini.
63. I will sing "Over the Rainbow" for anyone who will listen.
64. I have a nice voice, I wish it was amazing.
65. We are strict parents.
66. I hope that we are doing the right thing in being strict parents.
67. My mom was strict, big time. My dad stayed the course with her.
68. I am glad that they were strict, did I say that??
69. I love making fried oysters on New Years Day.
70. I tell my girls that any boy they date, should treat them like their dad treats me.
71. If they don't, they are not worthy of her company.
72. I love to read.
73. I love gardening, roses especially.
74. I would like to meet Lucille Ball, Rosie O'Donnell and Bruce Springsteen.
75. My dad is a wonderful, magical man.
76. I love having a TV in my kitchen.
77. The Food TV Network is a huge favorite.
78. Raising a teenager is more difficult than I ever could have imagined.
79. However, the joyous moments spent with that same teenager, are treasured.
80. I love watching the Philadelphia Eagles play football.
81. I grew up having Sunday evening tea (after Sunday church, and dinner midday)
82. I would like to do the same more often in our family.
83. The best vacation ever for our family was in Disney this past summer.
84. The best vacation as a couple was in Cancun,Mexico in 2001 a surprise for my 40th birthday.
85. I am the only person I know who likes the smell of mulch--it's Spring!
86. Growing up, I loved spending summer vacations in Nova Scotia.
87. I have become and avid bird watcher, and love the songs they sing.
88. My sister is my ever present sounding board.
89. My Lenten commitment is to show more patience with my children.
90. My daughter, Jen and I are more alike than I can tolerate.
91. She is my toughest nut, and my kindred spirit.
92. I love grilled cheese and tomato soup.
93. My last meal on earth would be filet, lobster and sweet corn on the cob.
94. My mom would request a vegetable for that last meal--Caesar Salad.
95. I love watching American Idol and Survivor (quality TV only..) with my family.
96. I miss our home parish, (42 years) more than I can say.
97. I wish I was more of a night person.
98. Depression can be haunting.
99. I cry at parades, marching bands and the National Anthem.
100. I love doing cryptograms.